Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Feeling Crummy...

My moods are pretty crazy - when I'm truly happy, I'm insane. I need to keep a notebook with me just to scribble down everything that's lifting my mood. When I re-read it a few minutes after writing it, the buzz tends to last. When I'm feeling like crap, my world ends. I stop functioning correctly. I fall into this pit of anger, or sadness, or fear... whatever emotion that's getting me down overwhelms me.

Today, it was angry. It happened around midday, and as my mind spun and I felt the waves of it building up in my chest, I went into some kind of daze. I stood up, walked out of the office and went to the shops to do some errands, but I didn't even realise where I was, or the fact that I'd told nobody where I was going, until after I'd bought a bag of bread rolls from the bakery. Then I had to make the clumsy phone call to the office, apologising profusely for disappearing without a word. Weird. I'm still angry, but for now I want to be.

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